I read a blog post the other day about friendship.
It was written by an exceptional woman that I have the honor of calling my British sister, Sophie Truelove. Her questions got under my skin in the way that all hard questions do; it made me uncomfortably aware of what is happening in my life. She spoke about the purpose of friendships in your life.
She said, "Perhaps, then, friendship is meant to be transient, a process of discovery and enlightenment ... In light of this I wonder, do we seek friends that we subconsciously know will lead us to the next stage? Or are my theories a little too far fetched? Are relationships confusion and coincidence, or are they planned perfection? Cannot they be both?"
It's true my friendships have changed depending on what stage of life I am in and, ultimately, where I am going. In high school, I stuck with a comfortable group of girls. I wanted security. In college, I met the girls of my dreams (Yeah, sounds strange.), and they have helped me ease into adulthood with some semblance of poise. Now, with the colossal college graduation upon me I realize that I am, in fact, seeking friends that are not only like me but that encourage me to be the person I want to become.
I want--no, I crave--to be around people of similar mindsets. I want to be challenged and ambitious. I want to be around dreamers, weirdos and creative folk. I want to think not mindlessly live, and I want to have blast, like a massive blast, while doing it. I believe wholeheartedly that friendships aren't just confusion and coincidence--too much comes from them, too much perfection. (Perfection that can inevitably be seen in the photo above. The weirdest of the weird.)
She concluded with this golden nugget: "It is my belief that friendship is an altered factor, a purposeful catalyst, that is simultaneously rebirth and resolution."
That's it though. Friendships change you. It molds you into a person with little flecks of the other person artfully placed in your foundations. You grow in a way that welcomes a different person with open arms and nostalgically says farewell to an old version of yourself. It can be monumental, but it could also be slight--regardless, it's change.
Without change we are stagnant in ourselves. And what's worse then not learning, growing or understanding? That's not living, and that's why I am friends with the people I'm friends with. Rebirth and resolution. Planned perfection. Discovery and enlightenment.
And that value means something new when your friendships are no longer effortless.
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Love this post. Going through a bit of a transition with graduation on the horizon and I completely identify. Moving forwards and in different directions doesn't necessarily mean something has gone terribly wrong, its just all part of the bigger picture!
ReplyDelete"Grateful. A word that I thought I fully grasped. A word that I've heard time and time again, and I, suppose, I have said and meant it time and time again. Understanding it, however, occurred this week. I'm grateful for those friends, roommates and family that have listened, cared, shared and talked. Reassuring me that I am, without a doubt, not alone.
ReplyDeleteIn a way, I feel as though I have been held up by these people in my life like the MVP of a playoff game (Does that actually happen in real life? Or just movies?). All I can say is that learning life lessons can sometimes be hard, but it makes you better. It makes you mature.
God is good. Character has been built. And I am grateful.
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. [Romans 8:26-28]"
I see this post as resembling true friendship, more-so than what you are writing now.
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